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Thursday 24 June 2010

Scribbling #17: Indy and Šupy's diary

Scratched inside their plastic hutch is the beginnings of a joint co-diary, nay, a journal, in rabittry hieroglyphics that has also just been translated.  Seems that Indy is quite the writer, albeit using some sort of medieval saga type language.

Day 1 - Indy:

And yay, verily, the Keepers of the Gate opened the closing place of our humble abode and, forsooth! we were given unto a pair of strange beings, that put both Reginald and I, Charles Montgomery XVII, into what seemed to be a cage that had been last used by an animal of the feline variety.  I believe it to be, after studying the inscriptions on the inside of the prison, that this animal went by the name of 'Crisco' and hereunto time, his fate hath been left unknowest.  Mayhaps that this unfortunate specimen was eaten by these new Keepers?  We must also assume that we are alone in this, as we have been separated from our mutual friend for the last time.  We then travelled what seemed to be many, many miles to my indentured brain until we arrived into our new cage, which seemed to be far more luxurious and homely than the last one.  We hid away from the Keepers in order to plan our next step.  This may take a couple of days, dear reader...

Šupy:

What the hell happened?  First, I was quite happily minding my own business, then some pair of jokers came and nabbed us right from under the nose of our present owner, toot sweet, like.  Charlie-boy couldn't make head or tail of what was going on.  And then there was poor Eric, left on his tod.  Charlie reckons that this is some sort of adventure, but then he decides to shove words like 'indentured' into sentences where there really isn't a place for them whatsoever.  Thinks he's so smart, the muppet.  And we got taken in a cat cage.  A cat cage.  It smelt of cat.  And the big female kept cooing at me every now and again on the trip over to our new home.  At least its got a feed bowl and decent bedding.  I mean, that's the new place, like, not the human female. Yeah, well.  The hutch is big enough to bunk in.  Charlie was the first one to take a butcher's, no pun intended, like, but we'll see what happens next, roight?

Day 2 - Indy:

Intervention!  Gadzooks!  The male of the pack had decided enough was enough, it had seemed, and wondered just what we were doing in the hutch!  No respect for privacy, these, these... those!  Thouest knowest that one clings to one's own personal space like a General clings to his horse, maps and his life, letting everyone else get blasted to bits.  That'll serve them right, lower working class chattel...

Šupy:

Er, tangent mate, tangent.  You went off on there, Charlie-boy.  So, anyways, the big bloke, 'e decided to go and half-inch our house out of our own home!  Would you Adam and Eve it?  Found that there was suddenly more food outside the hutch than in it, plus this weird crunchy stuff in a bowl.  I guess if we're lucky, these muppets will actually let us out of this cage.  On the other hand, it is quite cosy in here.  What with the bedding.  And the toys.  And the fact that you know that nobody is going to run up behind you, carrying a lead pipe, shouting 'Freedom!' and then hittin' you on the ol' noggin.  Poor old Charlie - never knew it would make him regress like, after being beat up by Sammy the hamster after too much Braveheart.  I dunno.  Oops, another tangent, like.

Day 7 - Indy:

Our home, fully restored to its fullest condition, was placed within the warm confines of dost bedding.  We were then disturbed by a smaller version of a human female.  Mayhaps they shrink in the wash and should be given more water?  This one kept on shouting at us and a couple of new humans a lot.  I feel that the vapours may be coming on.  Regin - Šupy was taken out and petted a lot, which he didn't like very much, but then he hath not got the same, iron discipline as I have.  Yes, when I fought in the war of 1863, they knew I - ooo, carrots!

Šupy:

Some young girlie keeps trying to poke me and pick me up and hug me and keeps shouting 'together!' every now and again.  At least she isn't a septic tank, otherwise there would be a whole heap of trouble, like.  Wasn't so bad in the end - she just sort of stood back and watched after a while.  Hm.  Where she came from, I haven't got a digeridoo.

Day 18 - Indy:

And so, dear reader, it looks as if we've nearly ran out of hutch.  This means one thing of course, we have to write our knowings within the sand of our own imagination.  Or just stop writing until the Keepers bring us a new cage.  Or just don't bother, since we've got a lot of eating, going binky, and pooping to do.  We have to catch up with our owners on many things, especially since one of them has now left of course.  Makes it easier for us to plot their destruction.  Mwah-hah-haa!

Šupy:

Er, I'll just stand over here then, right?  And incessantly lick the male's arm and hand for any minerals and/or salt if it happens to reach inside the cage.  At least he takes us out and lets us run around, like, since we are getting bigger.  It's good to stretch your legs and explore every nook and cranny, just in case we find somewhere to escap- um, have a holiday somewhere.  Yes.

The story will continue once the rabbits have been trained to post a blog of their own.

NB.  Translation for Canadians and other exotic creatures.  Yes, I am a nice person.

going binky - term for when rabbits leap about, generally being frightened about being so happy.
septic tank - Cockney rhyming slang for Yank, or American.
digeridoo - rhyming slang for clue.
half-inch - rhyming slang for 'pinch' or steal.
Adam and Eve - rhyming slang for believe.
noggin - head.
left on his tod - left alone.
take a butcher's - Butcher's hook => look.

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